51st Post.

CRAP! The last post I did was my 50th and it was wasted on stupid movie reviews... oh well. Here's to the 51st one.

I cannot believe how many posts I have posted (so much irony) already. I really have surprised myself because I am the type of person... or the only person... who will every January 1st (without fail) begin a diary and will be lucky if I make it past January 14th. Two weeks is a big accomplishment. The problem was, I think, I had little to write about. But thankfully my life has been full of so many terrifically ridiculous things lately that this blog has been properly funded with pathetic anecdotes.

Par exemple: Today I went to the gym and was alone at first so I began watching my favorite episode of Parks & Recreation, the one where everyone gets drunk, when I am joined by an extremely ancient man on the bike and a middle aged woman with hot pink shoe laces on the stair stepper. I offer both of them the remote to change it to a channel of their choosing but neither of them accept. I finish running on the treadmill and move over to the deathly 'abslide'. If you have never used one of these in your life let me warn, they are not for the light of hear, and or abs.

Back in my glory days, we had a stick going through a training wheel and you would sit up on your knees, grab the stick on either side of the wheel and slide all the way out until you were almost flat on the floor and then use your abs to pull yourself back up. I used to pop those out like it was my job but I tried the abslide the other die and nearly died. AND this thing even helps you back up, but clearly not enough. I may have accomplished ten of those and could hardly move. The next day I woke up like my stomach had been slipt in two by a repo man reclaiming my colon or something.

So today I tried to make amends with the abslide and could barely handle it. The woman on the stair stepper was apparently watching me and asked if it hurt because I was making some terrible faces (whoops). I said, "only if you like the filling of being gutted like a fish" Okay I didn't actually say that, but that would have been an accurate description of the pain I was feeling. I told her it really hurt. How lame.

Oh I also wanted to say that I have reached over 3,000 views! Thanks everyone who has faithfully followed my nonsense and also the people around the world who randomly stumble upon my site then leave as quickly as they arrived.

If you are an avid reader I would like to encourage you to become a follower so I can appeal to my greater audience :)

Boom. POSTED.