Nailing Life.

Boom. Mastered.

So I finally completed my excruciating year of grad school (non-stop since last fall) and it feels gweat! Usually during the summer I get that feeling of "Oh I feel like something is due and I haven't done it yet!!... oh wait, it summer... phew!" and I am still kind of in that zone but what a relief to be finished.

I don't know if I mentioned that the roommate had eye surgery the day before my birthday but she did and for the first couple of days she had to ice her face. Well she took a bag of peas and split it in half between two ziploc bags so she could alternate them. I don't know if anyone used the watch the show "Andy Milanokis" but this adult-kid had a ridiculous show on MTV a few years ago. Here is the theme song:

So I kept calling her a "pea-head". 

Also I have been laughing at this picture for like a whole week now:

Bahahahahaa.

It is even funnier because those original cupcakes show up on pinterest.com like everyday. Nailed it.

Oh and if you are wondering what has been different about me lately it is most definitely the fact that I have been going to the chiropractor. That's right. I just walked right in after work one day asking what it was all about. Turns out my pelvis is slightly rotated and my right leg was a little higher that my left (go figure). So the guy fixed me up and I just need to keep coming in a much as I want so he can align e properly. It feels great and rejuvenating, I would definitely suggest. 

The next thing on my stupid to do list is call that stinking hypnotist. I need to eat my vegetables!

My parent's house has a salt water pool which has turned into my responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I love having a pool... I just hate having to work for it (at least I am admitting my laziness). Well salt pools are special and the system has to be working just right to separate the Na for the Cl to make chlorine for the pool. Ours wasn't working. So the pool has hardly any chlorine and that suddenly means that all the animals in the neighborhood come over and drink out of the pool. How do I know this? Well there is a manmade waterfall that has a grotto underneath it. These animals go over in there and drink from there. 

Don't worry, the pool isn't green like that right now, that was the last time the thing was broken.. whoops. 

Anyway, I know animals are coming to quench their desert thirsts because... THEY POOP IN THE GROTTO. That's right, all sorts of animals remains remain in that grotto right now. Freaking disgusting. I've already had to go in their in the middle of winter (with one leg in the water mind you) and wrap my hand in a plastic bag to remove the feces of the mystery wildlife. The very first year we lived here there was a poop in there of human proportions and there were speculations that my brother maneuvered himself in there... no just kidding. It was definitely a mountain lion (how comforting). 

We also have a river in the other corner of the yard where it was my 'brilliant' idea to put some goldfish a Koi in there. But over the course of 2 year we have probably put over 50 fish in that stinking pond... and now we just have 5 (I think). 

That pond is impossible to clean with those fish. Sometimes I just have the best ideas. NOT.

Boom. Posted. 

Nearing the Finish Line.

Okay, so many things to catch up on. Let's try and do this quickly:

I am almost completely doen with my Master's... four more days with just one final left... so close.

Harry Potter 7.2 = awesome. Amazing way to end the series. I laughed, I cried, I was... Harry Potter.

My birthday at work was pretty uneventful, but I did get to walk into the office to see this:

Then I had a beautiful birthday dinner with my girlfriends at the Bamboo Club... delicious. 

I got some wonderful cards from my friends and family.

Then, the day after my birthday, I go to work and begin to take a swig from my daily Gatorade, when I taste something like wood. I look down into the bottle and see these lovely things:

Like two cotton ball orbs. The most disgusting thing ever. I was planning on contacting Gatorade but I was just so sick of looking at that bottle and constantly tasting the wood-like substance in my mouth. Gross.

The rest of the week went by rather slowly and the whole time Blake had been telling me I had a package that was supposed to have been there for my birthday but never came. It was Friday when I finally came home to the roommate yelling, "Guess what came today??" But I was so bust trying to get on the internet because Blake and I were supposed to have a Skype date.

I come home from work on the phone, go to drop off my purse in my room, and then head to the living room where the roommate is and Coco is going ballistic. She scratches my leg so I start yelling at her to calm down while the roommate keeps looking over my shoulder. I asked her why she kept doing that and if someone was here. Then I turn around and got the biggest surprise of my life....

BLAKE HAD COME TO SURPRISE ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!! He was just standing there with his brother filming my reaction over his shoulder. Of course my jaw dropped to the floor because I could not have been more shocked. I said something to the affect of "Stop it!!""What are you doing here??" and "This isn't real life!" ... yep, that's what I said. Don't worry, I will post the video as soon as possible.

But needless to say we had the best weekend and went up to the Salt River which is always a crazy time. Luckily I didn't lose my or anyone else's shoes (which I usually do). Nor did I flip out of the tube. Then we just relaxed on Sunday before he had to go home and it was an amazing time.

I was seriously so clueless I walked past them hiding twice. TWICE! And I was still expecting to get on the compter and Skype, it was all some sort of a crazy dream.

 I felt like David After the Dentist:

Also I finally got my own desk at work, aside from the temporary one I had:

But my computer keeps breaking... and its not my fault! I mean, it is harder to go back to a PC after going Mac but I am not the one who is breaking it. The thing is cursed or something. Maybe its a sign?

Boom. UPDATED. posted.

Last Day of Childhood.

I turn 23 tomorrow. Apparently I am no longer considered a dependent to my parents and I am losing all my healthcare and military privileges. What the heck. How come no one tells you that Tricare is the best healthcare there is.. like, what is a copay?

So today I had a dermatology appointment to get a mole removed from my face. I have had these two moles that are symmetrical on my face for as long as I can remember.

Of course I just rummaged through my entire photo library and this is the only picture where you can see both moles. Well now it looks a little bit like this...

Gone! Got one of them chopped off today because it was bigger than the right one so it just had to go. 5 years ago today, I had 3 moles removed from my back (I've got moles galore) and the big joke my dad made was that I made it to 18 but my moles didn't. I guess the same thing applies here.

Also when I got my first mole removed way back in the second grade my dad made up a song that went "Goodbye moley, hello holey, goodbye moley, goodbye little moley." Needless to say I left that on his voicemail today the second I got out of the doctor's office. 

I could never get botox because the needle they used to numb the area on my chin before they whacked off my mole was just like a botox needle... no thank you.

This mole was also a problem because one time at a country music festival a few years ago, I was lying on my one of my friend's laps while she was braiding my hair. All of the sudden she starts brushing her hand on my face repeatedly. So I jump up and ask her what is going on and she says she was trying to get a bug off my face............. yeah that was my mole. She had known me for 3 years and thought my mole was a bug. 

This house is in recovery anyway because the roommate had some eyelid surgery today. Now let me just tell you that I do not like medical surgery stuff. I can handle needles and whatever but looking at the maimed faces and body parts postsurgery... heebly jeeeblys. Well roomie looks like a cross between a Mongolian warrior and Stevie Wonder... creeping me out to the extreme. 

Well here's a boom posted for the last time as a 22 year-old.. sniff sniff

BOOM POSTED

I mean... go big or go home, right?

Guilty Pleasures with Hidden Dangers.

Alright, I'm not proud of this, but I am watching Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC right now and it is all about little girls in beauty pageants. Well the whole thing is ludicrous and expensive and all of the mother's are in charge

Absolutely ridiculous. BUT the pageant that is airing right now is a huge one where the "Ultimate Grand Supreme" winner wins $10,000 so the contestants are ranging from 2-21 years old... And even one of those could be the winner. So they announce their favorite hobbies, colors, and food when they are walking around looking like life-size zombie barbies but when one of the 21 year-old girls was prancing around, the announcer said "Sally wants to go to school to be a mortification when she grows up and own her own funeral home.......... What the heck? A beauty pageant girl wants to slab up the dead? Creepy.

Work is slowly getting better. I think the best part as of now is that my style is slowly improving. I bought a nice black watch so I do not have to rely on my cell phone for the time and I wore a long necklace all day without taking it off. That's an accomplishment. Those thing usually drive me nuts. 

We also have casual fridays which is pretty much normal business casual but you can jeans... in the 110 degree heat. At least the office is chilly. 

Okay, okay, OKAY so HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART DEUX is releasing tomorrow night AT midnight and you better believe I am going to be there. Although it did take a lot of convincing Blake's middle brother, Ryan, I finally gave in because, well, obviously because its harry potter. I want to dress up like a death eater or Bellatrix Lestrange but I do not think my dark mark will wash off for work...

Clearly that would not come easily... because it didn't before. If you have not read or have not seen anything of the Harry Potter series.... you should. 'Brilliant', as in the british phrase for 'Brilliant'. 

Anyway, while I am at the theater waiting for hours and hours in an awesome seat of my choosing I will have lots of time to check out all the freaks roaming around and I will definitely be taking notes. It will be worth galleons.... look it up. 

I will be extra cranky for work on Friday but at least I get to wear jeans and recuperate on Saturday. Don't bother me on Saturday, you have been warned.

Oh and another thing. The nightmares have not ceased and so I half wake up one night knowingly talking to myself but I cannot stop. Also 'Rumplstiltskin' is running around as a shadow on my wall, I think he was trying to kill me. But a light shadow because my room was dark. It was terrifying knowingly aware of what was going on and that it was a dream, but physically or mentally not be able to stop it.

I tell my mother about this and this is what she sends :

What a life I live, where the people I love love to torment me into a dreamland of misery and torture. 

Oh and the freak contestant who wanted to be a mortician.... beat all the toddlers for their tiaras and she won the $10,000.... whatever.

Boom. Terrified.

Strike Zone.

I have almost 16 days left until my last Master's class is over. 16 long, painful days. And this class couldn't have been any more worse a class than it is. We have been assigned a partner for the last and final project and it requires a lot of email correspondence, online chatting and what have you. Well my partner, Shelley, a 50 something year-old lady who lives in Northern Arizona and sounds like a New Yorker, is nuts. She does not have the internet at her house so she has to go to the library to rent a laptop. So I, like an amazing partner, suggest that we exchange phone numbers so we can schedule times to do our assigned online chats  then I find out that is going to be next to impossible, so I email our professor asking if we can do the whole thing over the phone, which she has no problem with. Shelley is impossible to talk to over the phone. She is a very nice lady, don't get me wrong, but seriously talks non-stop and doesn't understand that this assignment can be easily finished within an hour and insists we go through every step. Needless to say I have corresponded with her for over 7 hours in the past 3 days. Luckily we are done... or so I hope.

I forgot to mention I am on a bowling league. Yes, yes, I know the majority of you are jealous, but I have been bowling with some of the guys from the golf course on Monday nights. Technically this was only my second time but we already got our official collared shirts in bright yellow (I won't even tell you our team name.... I had nothing to do with it) and at the end we get out own custom fit bowling ball... OUR OWN BOWLING BALL! Awesome.

I was running late today due to work and homework and got to the lane just in the nick of time. I run in and everyone is telling me to go get my shoes but I know I have been holding everyone up (also the team we were bowling against) so I say "Screw shoes!!" and I grab a ball and head toward the lane.

This is where things got messy.

You see, I was wearing my new red, crochet TOMS and they are just the tiniest bit slick. Also I just grabbed the first ball I saw and it happened to be a 13pounder. Usually more that my little feeble hands can, well, handle.

I yank the ball from the shelf and start aiming toward the center pin when my shoes slide right over the fault line and I do not stop slipping, tripping, or stumbling until about 1/3 of the way down the alley. Some how I managed to grab onto the grey bumper thing on the side and hole on for dear life. I was practically a human bowling ball. Of course as I turn to face the humiliation... everyone in the whole place was clapping for they had seen everything. All I did was curtsey... I mean, what else can you do?

So this isn't my first time bowling and I am actually pretty average. Sometimes I am totally awesome, like later in the evening but usually average. I also no the rules of courtesy on the lanes, as in, you do not bowl when the lanes on either side of you are bowling.. but that's it... just those either sides. Well 'apparently' I was bowling when this guy THREE LANES AWAY was also trying to go and he had had enough.

So I am sitting, cheering on my pathetic little team, having a great time, when all of the sudden this ogre of a man (literally twice my size and my age for that matter) comes bounding over, puts his hands on his knees and gets all up in my face and then shouts at me "PLEASE stay to the RIGHT when I and TRYING to BOWL, THANKS!!!" And then he just stormed off.

All I could do was laugh because I had no idea what he was talking about nor had I been given any warning, just an immediate blow up. Well my heart is racing because I want to punch this lunatic in the face but I know he could eat me for  breakfast so I continue to sit and think about all the things I should have said and the best I came up with was "I don't know why you you are thanking me because now I am not going to stop." If only I had ben that cool.

Regardless I gave him a freaking 30 foot radius for the rest of the night. Everyone was in shock and the team he was playing against could not believe it but they ending up thanking me later because I guess I got in his head and he lost. He did come over to us as my team was leaving an apologized but I told him "I hope you know I was not trying to sabotage your game, I understand the rules and thought I was abiding by them but a simple warning would have been better than screaming in my face. That was uncalled for." And the guys on my team were defending us saying it was our first league and we are just trying to have fun but we are respectful and you have no right to yell at our teammate. I felt defended.

Why do these crazy people feel the need to take their problems out on me? One of the guys from our other team said the man obviously saw that I was having a rough day from the beginning... but apparently not rough enough. Whatever, he was really just jealous because of my major skills

Boom. STRIKE.... posted.

Workin' 9-5, What a Way to Make a Livin'.

I am now a working woman. I started my first day at an insurance agency in town and am now working 8am to 5pm Monday through Friday... and man is that a change. That first day I started out looking like this:

And unfortunately I didn't get a picture at the end of it (probably because I would have bitten the roommate's head off if she had tried...) but it look more along the lines of this:

I. Was. Exhausted. Also completely overwhelmed by paperwork and insurance terms that were going in one ear and out the other... it was a rough day. I think I went to bed at 9:30pm. 

But the company is great, the people are nice. I do not have a desk yet so I kind of feel like an intern running around to do the not so fun jobs like inputting 300 new driver's information for a client... woohoo.

Also something that comes with a new job is... eating lunch by yourself. The first day I was taken out to lunch, Chili's, but then for the rest of the week I had no food to bring so I would go get food and then eat  in an empty cubicle facing the wall.... all by myself. Pitiful. But it got worse. I went to this home-style restaurant we always go to for breakfast because its cheap and fast but when you go for lunch and sit in a booth all by yourself... its just pathetic.

But after the long four day week was over it was time to work at the golf course. With my new job, the golf course, and trying to finish up my last class of grad school.... its a little rough. Luckily this past Friday night was a wine tasting set up and night golf.

Night golf is probably one of the coolest things. The cart path is all lit up with brown bags filled with tea light candles. Then rope lights outline the green and the flag as lights all the way up the pole. Then all the people wear neon necklaces and glosticks but the best part is the golfballs which are clear with little hole to put baby glosticks so its like shooting stars when they are hit into the dark sky. Pretty cool. Also it was lightening all over the valley so that was another awesome thing to see. Good night at the course.

  

Boom. Posted.

Clowning Around.

First of all, as you may have noticed, I no longer have any ads on the right side of this blog because my activity has been compromised. If someone clicks on an ad from my blog then I get a certain amount of money. I couldn't have said that before because you are obviously not supposed to advertise that fact so people click your ads all the time and you gets lots of money. Apparently I had too many clicking with not enough time in between.... Oh well. Lost all of $67.34.

Okay, okay, okay. So the circus was in town this weekend and after seeing the movie Water for Elephants, I couldn't have been more excited. The only problem was I could not convince anyone to go with me. The worst part was I knew Blake would go in a heartbeat but unfortunately he is hundreds of miles away.

The roommate was even starting to take pity on me and was about to accompany me but luckily I had done enough coercing that Brizzle wanted to come! Yes, we were in business... the circus business that is.

Before we went, we stopped off at this terrific burger place

Just disregard that guy... whoever he is. I had the Velvet Hammer which included bacon and a fried egg... delicioso. The only problem we had was we were located right next to the door and at like an 8 person table. So people kept wanting to sit at the other side and were squishing poor Briz up against the table. This this one Larry (that's what I'm going to start calling problematic people who have sense of the common variety) just stares at her, apparently using mental telepathy to have her scoot in for the 5th time... He literally just stood there, we didn't know what he was doing until he said, "I want to sit down over there" or something equally as rude. What a Larry.

Now its Circus Time! 

We get there about an hour and a half early because we didn't know what the ticket situation was.... turns out it was only $18. Totally awesome. And since it was a 3 ring circus, you wanted sit on the side so you could see them all and we had good seats. 

So we get lost for a little while around the convention center and wait line for a little while too. Of course while we are waiting all of these animal activists were holding up signs of all the 'circus abuse'. Why would you show these signs to the people who already bought their tickets and are waiting in line to go in? I doubt would drive all the way to the circus, pay for the whole family, wait in line, and then see that sign and decide "Oh, well if that's what is going on... we better leave." 

 We finally get in and they have this new thing now, the pre-show, where people can walk around on the floor, meet the clowns, try on costumes, walk a mini tight rope, and even watch an elephant paint a picture. It was thee best. When Briz and I walked into the ring, this one clown dropped his little kite thing and had his jaw hit the floor. It was too funny.

Oh, and these clowns talk. I didn't think they would but was definitely surprised.

I also got to do some barrel rolling with one of the clowns, I was a natural of course. When we were heading to our seats, the one clown followed us up there and we were talking to him for a while. He was 23 and had only been in for a couple months. His name was Dodger and he was great clown. Then for the rest of the show he would wave to us from the floor until we waved back. 

Also I got banana split Dip N Dots... the best thing in the whole world.

Briz and I had ended up moving seats to an empty section and this couple moved behind us. The woman was so animated with the performers. She was constantly saying "Oh my gosh, oooooh my gooooosh". The best part was that she had zero personality up until it started getting "Fully Charged". That was the name of the show.

Okay so now that I have a youtube account, I made my first video. My brother has already given me enough critics (obviously I still have a lot to learn) but I think it turned out okay. Other than the fact that I  wrote my blog title incorrectly at the end... whatever. 

Fullllly Charged.... cannot get that out of my head.

We asked our clown friend about the ringleader and he said he was kind of like stereotypical frat guy. He was dating one of the aerialist and apparently no one likes him. So then of course we didn't either. And we found out later, that Briz correctly identified the girlfriend.. she wins!

Now the later part. Toward the end of the show, one of the usher comes over to us and says a clown is beckoning us to the staircase. It was Dodger, so I ran down there real quick to see what he wanted. He invited Briz and I to hang out with him and one of the other clowns after the show and I thought to myself "Excellent blogging material.. I better go." 

Whoever gets to say they got ice cream with two ACTUAL clowns? So we met up with them after the show and started the informational session. All the two of us did was ask these guys questions about the circus. Here is the 411:

1. They literally live on a train
2. The animals are treated like kings
3. You get $360 a week, not including food
4. You don't have to go to clown school, just try out
5. One year contracts
6. Train surfing is strictly prohibited
7. and they usually separate the different acts and ethnicities on the train so if you walk through the "Russian Alley" you always have to take a shot of vodka. Always.

So we hung out for like a half an hour and then headed home but those clowns were crazy. The one we didn't know from the show, Rudy, he kept getting up and dancing around or miming or saying hello to everyone. Dodger told someone it was his birthday so at this place they cut a piece of hotdog and stick a candle in it. Well I guess this clown thought it would be funny to just eat the candle and the dog all at once... freaking nuts. 

All in all it was a fun filled night and the circus is freaking awesome. I never want to miss another one. 

Boom. Clowned....posted.

You May be Eligible.

The roommate and I went to the store yesterday and I got a few items to make trail mix, including m&ms. So as I am pouring the bag out into my trail mix jar I notice the contest going on where if on the inside of the bag the m&ms are reunited, you can enter to win $100,000. Now normally I couldn't care less about some stupid 'contest' because you have to give up so much information and then you don't even win.

Well I guess I was feeling lucky because I did have all the m&ms united so I followed the instructions which including calling a number and talking the yellow m&m... super great.

After all of the stuff I had to do, I finally got the information to plug in and all I won was a freaking free bag of pretzel m&ms (which I hear are disgusting... not to mention how weird the commercial is...)

But the only way to get the free bag was to input all of my most precious information and then you know I would be getting nonstop calls, texts, emails, and letters from the M&M company so I just quit. 

Yeah I'm a quitter. 

Boom. Posted.

Dentist Woes.

Dirty pop... ne ne ne you can't stop (insert all the sound effects... you know you know them).

I was listening to Dirty Pop in the car on the way home from the gym today and I couldn't help but remember simpler times... when I had no idea what they were saying in that song but I knew it was the best song ever.

I ran a mile (nonstop) in10 minutes today. I know, I know.... incredibly slow. But for me... anything longer than 2 minutes is a milestone. Much less a whole mile. I am trying to get some endurance back. Close to when I could do a level 10 floor routine in a minute and a half just be mildly gasping for air... still gasping non the less.

Those were the good ole days, when gymnastics practice was nothing but a time where I would try my hardest to get out of the things I was supposed to do for conditioning. That was when I realized it was time to retire.

Joining me at the gym were two girls that were definitely under the age of 14 (which is the age limit for being there parent-less) and they were screwing around with all the equipment. I was rehearsing in my head what I would say to them if they got out of hand.. something along the lines of: "Hey girls, I hate to do this but.. how old are you?" Then they would probably say "12" and I would come back with "Well you need to be 14 to be in here unsupervised... SO GET THE HECK OUT!"

Something like that. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had no problem being totally snide on my two flights back from Alaska because I had been up since 4am... but to these two adolescents (who probably thought I was so cool with my feathered hair and awesome new bike shorts...) I just smiled and hurried through my 'workout'.

On a different note, I went to the dentist the other day to have a tooth fixed because it was too far away from my last molar and had no 'contact' when flossing. The procedure required numbing my mouth...

It was impossible to get my mouth to look normal whilst saying 'purple'. And I thought the results were rather humorous. 

I have finally constructed a youtube channel so I can post my videos more easily. 

Boom. Posted.