Wildlife Woes.

I forgot to mention on my previous post Bugging Out , about a situation I experienced back in college while running errands with my good friend, Cassie. There we were driving along with the windows rolled down, enjoying the crisp Arizonan air, when all of the sudden something flew into the car. Cassie began looking around frantically to identify the new intruder and finally she found the culprit:

But let me tell you something, that thing did not look as majestic and carefree as this picture portrays. It was the most horrible locust we had ever seen and about the size of a smallish rodent. As soon as we both discovered what the thing that had entered our car so invasively was, Cassie shot to the back seat while I was left to pull over.

After I parked, we both jumped out of the car instantaneously. Ever since it had first looked us square in the eyes when it flew in, we had lost its location thus we began furiously (but from a safe distance I might add) searching for it. Once located we were even more helpless because we couldn't remove it. Finally, the wretched thing flew out and we continued on our merry way but we were slightly scarred. 

Once we arrived home, I immediately got on the internet to classify this creature. I think I typed in something to the effect of "Grasshopper, huge, horrid", and the African Locust popped up. Terrifying. 

I am remembering this story all too clearly recently because I was in the backyard doing some pool work and noticing that something has once again defecated in my spotless grotto. And this is humanish size feces people. I don't know what could have made its way in there after I sprayed Raid like a mad woman in there hoping it would back off the spiders and their webs. Apparently some small human is squatting into our grotto in the middle of the night. Either that or a bobcat.... I go with the former. 

Anyway, I am brushing away when I notice this out of the corner of my eye. Not only is it the African Locust, it is two of them hoping to create more horrid locusts. But do not fret, I put a stop to that real quick with a little but of salty pool water. Killed the mood instantly.

There was no way I was just going to stand by and let this creepy things continue the reproductive circle of life. No freaking way.

Also, on my way home from work last night (I worked the fish fry again for the first time in months), there was a javelina hanging out on my driveway. Javelinas as beastly looking boars. This one even had a little circle of cactus stuck to its leg. I had to honk my horn so it would run away and I could safely open my garage door without fear it would park next to me. Luckily it ran away.

Then I noticed a coyote chasing a quail around on the side of the road leading to my neighborhood. That thing looked famished. And there was a tarantula on the sidewalk in my development the other night.

So don't worry, I'll tell you what you can deduce from all of this: I am sick of the wildlife that surounds me. Conveniently winter is fast approaching. Hibernation and hunting season. Get rid of 'em.

Boom. Posted.