Bugging Out.

I am 'bugging out' for a number of reasons.

This first beings with a picture my mother sent me a few days ago where she photoshopped my head onto a girl in her pajamas with a shadow of Peter Pan on the wall with the script "You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you can still remember dreaming. That's where I'll always love. THAT'S WHERE I WILL BE WAITING!"

Can you picture it? I cannot post it. Probably for the better, since it is so terrifying.

I am also 'bugging out' because my house is filled with creepy crawlers. They are on the wall, the floor, in my bed, on me... its disgusting and turning me into a paranoid freak. These bugs are like drawn to me. One time I was grabbing my towel after a shower and as I puled it off the rack this nickel-size spider crawls right out... BAAAAH! Jeeblie jeeblie the worst feeling ever. Also today I was walking out of the gym and something flew right into my neck. I think it was aiming for my jugular.

But all of that pales in comparison to this one particular bug that has reared its ugly face in my house a little over several times. It all started when my brother was home alone for a few weeks and I was still in college. I get a phone call from him and he is asking me to look up on google an 'ant with antlers'. What?

He said there was a humungous ant that had antlers in the house earlier and he wanted to know what it was. Obviously I couldn't find anything and eventually forgot about the situation.

Until one day I was eating something at the dinner table and went to reach for a napkin out of our center utensil/napkin holder and while I pull the napkin out of the slot, this thing comes flying out along with it. It was an ANT WITH ANTLERS! Oh I almost died, almost. It makes my knees weak just thinking about it.

Ugh I just tried to find a picture of the horrid thing and now I feel like I have ants all over me. They have a name but of course I cannot remember it. Something like Spawnus satanus.

Boom. Squished.